


I'm Not Going Without You

by crna_macka



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, Femslash February, Headcanon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-17
Updated: 2015-02-17
Packaged: 2018-03-13 10:59:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3379043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crna_macka/pseuds/crna_macka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's nothing personal. It's absolutely nothing personal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Not Going Without You

**Author's Note:**

> 17\. Headcanon fill for the [28-day challenge](http://the-100-femslash.tumblr.com/post/109795013900/do-you-write-fics-do-you-love-the-100-are-you-a)
> 
> Abby-centric POV of [this](http://chokingthecherry.tumblr.com/post/110307078105/what-are-some-of-your-abby-raven-headcanons)

One week. That's all they have on the Ark after Raven starts to pry and Abby makes her an ally. It's just enough time for Raven to realize that the station's doctor is someone she can trust, and just enough time for Abby to realize that all this time she's spending on Mecha station is a slippery slope.

She's acutely aware that Raven is an adult. Not much older than Clarke, but for all intents and purposes, an adult. She knows Raven could be floated for going along this scheme, and so she sacrifices.

_I'm not going without you._

She didn't expect Raven's argument to keep echoing in her head, a mental anchor as much as the ring on her necklace is a physical one.

_I'm not going without you._

_Abby, they'll float you._

Abby's chest had tightened when Raven said her name. She ignores the reaction so much that she almost forgets about it.

* * *

The way Raven screamed during surgery haunts Abby like no death on her operating table ever has. Those were her hands holding the knife, Raven's flesh tearing under its edge. When it's over, finally over, she leaves Raven with the boy at her side and goes back to the far edge of the lake where the station landed.

She takes deep breaths that break into sobs, and she sinks to the earth when her knees give way.

Abby can barely even look at Raven after that, and she's lucky the camp brings so many distractions. She throws herself into survival and leadership and finding her daughter. That's all she wants in life, not the ache that chases her around the young mechanic.

* * *

Raven finally stops trying to catch her attention. It's Finn by her side when he's in camp, it's Sinclair that insists she be cleared to work, it's an engineer that fits her with the brace. Abby keeps a professional distance and keeps moving forward. 

It's nothing personal. It's absolutely nothing personal.

It lasts until Clarke is dragged into camp, covered in dirt and blood. Raven appears at the entrance to the tent at midnight, as intent on seeing Clarke now as she had been on seeing Finn the day they met.

"Is that Clarke? Is she okay? I have to see her-"

Abby bars her way. "She's going to be okay. She needs to rest."

"Where did they find her? Why didn't you tell me?"

Abby sets her mouth in a firm line, like the one her body holds in front of the medical tent. "She needs sleep."

It's not an answer, but Raven doesn't push. "Abby..."

For a moment, Abby wonders if Raven is going to switch tactics. It's something station politics have made her used to.

Instead, Raven places a hand on her arm. "I'm glad she's back."

The next day Abby watches the two reunite with their friends. There's a connection there, something _too_ personal. 

She goes back to work.

* * *

Raven, of course, is the one that helps them sneak out of camp. And she lies right to Abby's face about it. Twice.

Abby isn't like Marcus or Thelonious. There aren't going to be executions or public whippings on her watch. But slapping Raven isn't punishment for a crime; it's anger at a friend's betrayal and putting Clarke back in danger.

She knows. She knows as soon as the strike stings her palm that "personal" is exactly what it is.

And Raven gets it. Under all the trappings of title and rank, she gets Abby, and she stays calm.

"You're wrong," the younger woman finally says, because as much as she sees through Abby, she's seen Clarke, too.

Abby tosses back the last of Raven's drink. She sees nothing at the bottom of the cup. 

"Come on," Raven says, pushing stiffly to her feet. "Let's clear your head."


End file.
